 Worst Day of my Life so far.... |
|
|||||||||
 Aug 5 2005, 12:24 AM
Post
#1
|
|
|
Advanced Member  Group: Advanced Members Posts: 588 Joined: 23-December 03 From: Sterling, IL Member No.: 7  |
My wife, who is just 29 years old, was diagnosed with breast cancer today (Thurs). She found a lump last Friday, had an examine Monday, a mammogram Tuesday and a biopsy today. She is scheduled to have a lumpectomy and more tests Friday at 6:30am.
This whole week has been one of misery in waiting. We kept telling ourselves that her odds were too small considering her age, but alas, she was part of that fractional percentage that are diagnosed in their 20's. So guys, make sure your wives, gfs, daughters are all keeping up with their checkups. We believe it was caught very early on, but we'll find out more tomorrow after they check the lymph nodes. Worse, the doctor has told her she can't have children for 5 years due to the treatment, and that has just absolutely crushed her. Her parents are in shock and disbelief and aren't handling this too well. I've certainly got a lot on my plate. |
 |
 
|
 |
Replies
(1 - 28)
|
Aug 5 2005, 12:38 AM
Post
#2
|
|
|
Collo Rosso Group: Advanced Members Posts: 1,220 Joined: 3-August 05 From: San Antonio, TX Member No.: 839 |
Very sorry to hear Absolut.
My Mom is currently fighting her own battle with breast cancer. Almost 2 years from diagnosis of stage III and she's still here even without chemo. She's decided not to do chemo because of her age (67), that is a decision I completely support. Early detection is the key, and it sounds like you have done everything you can so far. The only advice I can give is to try not to look too far down the road because there is just too much unknown. Look only to the next "step" in the process of diagnosis and treatment if at all possible. You two will have tough days ahead for sure, but she is young and that is a benefit to her at this point. Be strong, she'll need you. I will pray for you as I'm sure others will. |
|
|
|
|
Aug 5 2005, 01:03 AM
Post
#3
|
|
|
LS1 Inside! / Toolbox / Mechanical Engineer Group: Advanced Members Posts: 2,215 Joined: 5-February 04 From: NJ Member No.: 179 |
Sorry to hear. I'll say a prayer for you and your wife tonight.
|
|
|
|
|
Aug 5 2005, 01:18 AM
Post
#4
|
|
|
Member Group: Advanced Members Posts: 166 Joined: 25-December 03 From: nYc Member No.: 39 |
I'm sorry to hear that. As mentioned, stay strong for her (as I'm sure you're doing already).
My wife found a lump on her breast that turned out to be benign, fortunately. It scared us alot, because her mom died of breast cancer at a relatively young age. My wife was 28 at the time. We didn't have our first child until my wife was 33 (our decision, not health related). This is after losing our first one due to trisomy 13 (approx. 1 in 10,000 chances). It was tough times, but our families helped us through that. Now we have a very healthy, perfect little girl. Guess what I'm saying is, be strong, sounds like she detected it early and hopefully this'll be behind you guys, and she might have a baby earlier than 5 years from now. I and others will be praying for you guys, Aria |
|
|
|
|
Aug 5 2005, 02:57 AM
Post
#5
|
|
|
Experienced Member Group: Advanced Members Posts: 1,015 Joined: 28-December 03 From: Texas Member No.: 55 |
Thats aweful. I wish her and you the best. Stay positive.
|
|
|
|
|
Aug 5 2005, 03:25 AM
Post
#6
|
|
|
Senior Member Group: Advanced Members Posts: 5,226 Joined: 24-December 03 From: Danville, CA, USA Member No.: 27 |
So sorry to hear that....stay positive for her.....my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family!
|
|
|
|
|
Aug 5 2005, 03:25 AM
Post
#7
|
|
|
Nitto Destroyer! Group: Advanced Members Posts: 248 Joined: 24-December 03 From: Rochester NY Member No.: 29 |
QUOTE (Absolut Speed @ Aug 4 2005, 18:24) My wife, who is just 29 years old, was diagnosed with breast cancer today (Thurs). She found a lump last Friday, had an examine Monday, a mammogram Tuesday and a biopsy today. She is scheduled to have a lumpectomy and more tests Friday at 6:30am. This whole week has been one of misery in waiting. We kept telling ourselves that her odds were too small considering her age, but alas, she was part of that fractional percentage that are diagnosed in their 20's. So guys, make sure your wives, gfs, daughters are all keeping up with their checkups. We believe it was caught very early on, but we'll find out more tomorrow after they check the lymph nodes. Worse, the doctor has told her she can't have children for 5 years due to the treatment, and that has just absolutely crushed her. Her parents are in shock and disbelief and aren't handling this too well. I've certainly got a lot on my plate. Hang tough dear friend! Although a major situation for the 2 of you, Together you will make it through this tough time. Prayers and hope................. Gary Matteson and Family |
|
|
|
|
Aug 5 2005, 04:10 AM
Post
#8
|
|
|
Nothing says 'I love you.' like a box of Hydroshoks Group: Moderators Posts: 5,284 Joined: 23-December 03 From: Granbury, TX Member No.: 4 |
I am so sorry to hear that. The wait is the worst part.
Cancer is a terrible malady, but it sounds like you guys were proactive enough that you are able to get past this. Thank God you guys were educated and aware. It will pass and there is still time for kids. Stay focused and enjoy each other ... time becomes extremely precious when faced with your mortality. God Bless ... |
|
|
|
|
Aug 5 2005, 04:40 AM
Post
#9
|
|
|
FRRAX Owner/Admin Group: Admin Posts: 15,432 Joined: 13-February 04 From: Ohio Member No.: 196 |
Scott,
I hate to hear about bad things happening to good friends. When I was dating my high school sweetheart (for lack of a better term), her mother was diagnosed and treated for breast cancer. It wasn't my wife, but it was family and a difficult time for all. She made it through and has been doing great (this was 15 years ago). Early detection was the key and I can hope for you to have similar luck. I wish her a speedy recovery. |
|
|
|
|
Aug 5 2005, 04:47 AM
Post
#10
|
|
|
Mr. 3rd Place Group: Advanced Members Posts: 537 Joined: 24-December 03 From: Rindge, NH Member No.: 32 |
Thoughts and prayers to you and your wife.
Once she makes it through the treatment, there is always hope for having kids. We had our first when my wife was 43. |
|
|
|
|
Aug 5 2005, 04:48 AM
Post
#11
|
|
|
Grumpy Group: Advanced Members Posts: 2,722 Joined: 1-January 04 From: Bakersfield CA Member No.: 81 |
My wife and me's best wish's go out to you and your wife. She is young and strong and i'm sure she will be fine.
I have a dear friend that is just 30 that has just had everything removed becuase of uterine cancer. She is lucky though, she has 3 boy's that she love's very much. I will "live strong" for you my friend! |
|
|
|
|
Aug 5 2005, 05:27 AM
Post
#12
|
|
|
North of the border Group: Admin Posts: 2,307 Joined: 4-February 04 From: Montreal, CANADA Member No.: 177 |
sorry to hear the sad news.
the good part of it, is that you guys have a good head start on diagnosing it early... better now than later. It's really sad about the 5 year thing, especially being that young and certainly wanting to raise your own family... Nothing much I can say to make you feel any better.... my prayers and best wishes to you, your wife and the family. Hold on tight, you'll get better days. |
|
|
|
|
Aug 5 2005, 11:43 AM
Post
#13
|
|
|
Veteran Member Group: Advanced Members Posts: 2,647 Joined: 23-December 03 From: Pittsburgh, PA Member No.: 14 |
Best of luck. Be there for her.
|
|
|
|
|
Aug 5 2005, 02:10 PM
Post
#14
|
|
|
Seeking round tuits Group: Advanced Members Posts: 5,522 Joined: 24-December 03 From: Kentucky Member No.: 33 |
I'm still in The Worst Period of My Life. It began about a year and a half ago when Denice was 33, a few months after our daughter was born.
The best analogy I've come across is that a whale has just moved into your house. Right now, it's crowding out everything else and taking over your life. That whale will be around for a long time, but it will shrink. Some days it will be bigger than others, but it will shrink and you will slowly get your lives back. At some point in the near future, you will need to become very well informed if you aren't already. Two good places to start are mayoclinic.com and especially breastcancer.org. If there's any way I can help .... |
|
|
|
|
Aug 5 2005, 04:39 PM
Post
#15
|
|
|
Advanced Member Group: Advanced Members Posts: 501 Joined: 15-February 04 Member No.: 210 |
I second the suggestion about being proaactive and getting educated both on the disease and the treatment options. As an 8 year survivor of late 3rd stage cancer I urge you to learn about diet, nutritional supplementation and herbal supplements. Many oncologists are now becoming more familiar with, and accepting of ,supplements as augmentation to traditional medical treatment. Listen to your doctors, but be certain to be as aggressive as possible in advocating for yourselves. There is a vast difference between treating a disease and living with a disease: do what you believe is best for the two of you. Sorry to hear that you are currently in the dark and uncertain place. Trust me, with a bit of courage and mutual support, that part of the problem will soon pass. Focus on each other and doing the things that offer the greatest opportunities for recovery and health. Please feel free to e-mail or pm me, if you need to talk or discuss any aspect of treament. Not a doctor or a woman , but I do have a good deal of personal experience to draw upon.
|
|
|
|
|
Aug 5 2005, 04:51 PM
Post
#16
|
|
|
Member Group: Advanced Members Posts: 66 Joined: 8-February 04 From: Tampa, FL Member No.: 184 |
Very sad to hear that man. Just try to stay strong and be positive, and best of luck to both of you.
Tony This post has been edited by fa63: Aug 5 2005, 04:53 PM |
|
|
|
|
Aug 5 2005, 05:31 PM
Post
#17
|
|
|
Veteran Member Group: Advanced Members Posts: 2,640 Joined: 25-December 03 From: Louisville, KY Member No.: 40 |
You and your wife are in our prayers.
|
|
|
|
|
Aug 5 2005, 06:20 PM
Post
#18
|
|
|
Experienced Member Group: Advanced Members Posts: 1,766 Joined: 10-April 04 From: New Orleans, LA Member No.: 303 |
I am so sorry to hear that!
My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 40. She had a lumpectomy, chemo and radiation for a year. Then, they found it in the other breast. She had a complete mastectomy, then chemo and radiation again. It was a very bad time for us. But, she is now an 12 year survivor! And, I will share her sentiments with you. She says that, were she given the choice (knowing the outcome) of having it or not, she would choose to have it all over again. Why, you ask? It brought our family so close together. It truly showed us the meaning of, "Live for what is important" and "Carpe Diem". I was in high school at the time. A time in my life when my biggest worries should have been what party to go to on Friday night, what girl liked me, and how our basketball team was doing. Instead, I was spending nights in the hospital, bringing my mother fresh washcloths in bed, and driving her to the hairdresser to get a new wig. But, we are a very close family now. We all realize that no one knows what tomorrow may bring - so we do everything today. We tell each other we love each other every time we hang up the phone or leave each other. Once a year, we get together to celebrate her being cancer-free for another year - and we all cry and hug right there in the restaurant. The only advice that I can give is to help your wife in any way possible. And, for her, allow you to help - helping is your way of coping with it. Save any arguements until after you get an "all clear" from the doctor. Love each other like there's no tomorrow - but know in your heart that there will be thousands of tomorrows yet to come. It won't be easy, it won't be pretty, and it won't be short - you must come to terms with that. But, in the end, when you are both sitting on a beach watching your children play in the surf, you will look at each other in the eyes, remember the day you received this news, and you will hold her in your arms until the sun sets. |
|
|
|
|
Aug 5 2005, 08:06 PM
Post
#19
|
|
|
Need More Afterburner Group: Moderators Posts: 809 Joined: 13-March 05 From: Huntsville, AL Member No.: 683 |
Scott,
I wish you, your wife, and the rest of your family all the best through these hard times. Thankfully you caught it early and I pray she makes a speedy recovery. I'm not very eloquent when it comes to words about a situation like this, but stay strong, not only for you, but for her. Last year my dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer, so I can almost imagine what you're going through. Thankfully he has made a full recovery and I hope your wife bounces back from this as well as my father has. Good luck and prayers. Garrett |
|
|
|
|
Aug 6 2005, 12:18 AM
Post
#20
|
|
|
Advanced Member Group: Advanced Members Posts: 588 Joined: 23-December 03 From: Sterling, IL Member No.: 7 |
She had the lumpectomy today and also had some lymph nodes removed for testing. Found today that it is likely "stage 1" and has not spread. We go back Thrs. to find out for sure, and to find out what the next course of treatment is.
We're actually feeling a bit celebratory because it's likely to have not spread. (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) Thank you very much for the kind words and offers of support. |
|
|
|
|
Aug 6 2005, 12:30 AM
Post
#21
|
|
|
Experienced Member Group: Advanced Members Posts: 2,289 Joined: 4-May 04 From: Kenvil, NJ Member No.: 331 |
Best of luck to everyone, keep us informed.
|
|
|
|
|
Aug 8 2005, 01:55 PM
Post
#22
|
|
|
Experienced Member Group: Advanced Members Posts: 1,766 Joined: 10-April 04 From: New Orleans, LA Member No.: 303 |
That great news, Scott!!
I know that everything will turn out fine - you are in my prayers! |
|
|
|
|
Aug 8 2005, 02:00 PM
Post
#23
|
|
|
Nothing says 'I love you.' like a box of Hydroshoks Group: Moderators Posts: 5,284 Joined: 23-December 03 From: Granbury, TX Member No.: 4 |
QUOTE (Absolut Speed @ Aug 5 2005, 18:18) We're actually feeling a bit celebratory because it's likely to have not spread. (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) My dad lived with Pancreatic cancer for almost 3 years. typically, Pancreatic cancer is extremely aggressive and only gives a few months of life after diagnosis. His attitude is what kept him going. It sounds like you guys are celebrating the victories. This is a very important medicine. We are here for you and your family in any capacity we can. |
|
|
|
|
Aug 8 2005, 02:03 PM
Post
#24
|
|
|
FRRAX Owner/Admin Group: Admin Posts: 15,432 Joined: 13-February 04 From: Ohio Member No.: 196 |
QUOTE (Absolut Speed @ Aug 5 2005, 19:18) She had the lumpectomy today and also had some lymph nodes removed for testing. Found today that it is likely "stage 1" and has not spread. We go back Thrs. to find out for sure, and to find out what the next course of treatment is. We're actually feeling a bit celebratory because it's likely to have not spread. (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) Thank you very much for the kind words and offers of support. Excellent news!!!!! (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/beerchug.gif) |
|
|
|
|
Aug 8 2005, 03:57 PM
Post
#25
|
|
|
CMCer Group: Moderators Posts: 2,932 Joined: 12-February 04 From: the sticks near VIR Member No.: 194 |
That's great news! Cancer truly sucks and has affected my family profoundly. My prayers go out to those currently affected and for the final eradication of this terrible disease.
|
|
|
|
|
Aug 8 2005, 04:14 PM
Post
#26
|
|
|
Senior Member Group: Advanced Members Posts: 5,226 Joined: 24-December 03 From: Danville, CA, USA Member No.: 27 |
QUOTE (Absolut Speed @ Aug 5 2005, 18:18) She had the lumpectomy today and also had some lymph nodes removed for testing. Found today that it is likely "stage 1" and has not spread. We go back Thrs. to find out for sure, and to find out what the next course of treatment is. We're actually feeling a bit celebratory because it's likely to have not spread. (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) Thank you very much for the kind words and offers of support. EXCELLENT! Here's to continued good luck throughout your families ordeal! (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/thumbup.gif) |
|
|
|
|
Aug 8 2005, 04:36 PM
Post
#27
|
|
|
Member Group: Advanced Members Posts: 166 Joined: 25-December 03 From: nYc Member No.: 39 |
Great news! I prayed for you guys last night (and my sweet sister-in-law who's being treated for breast cancer), hope to hear more good news!
Aria |
|
|
|
|
Aug 9 2005, 12:18 PM
Post
#28
|
|
|
Benched Member Group: Advanced Members Posts: 535 Joined: 16-March 04 From: Northern California Member No.: 273 |
Glad to see luck is on your side. Hope this all goes away for good! Darn it I hate cancer...Oh man I hate it (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/sad.gif)
|
|
|
|
|
Aug 9 2005, 01:19 PM
Post
#29
|
|
|
Advanced Member Group: Advanced Members Posts: 545 Joined: 6-January 04 From: Germantown, MD USA Member No.: 99 |
Keep on hangin in there with a good positive outlook. With todays technology, procedures and early detection, prognosis looks good.
My wife just had three small 'stints' placed in the right side of her heart last week after a stress test determined that there was some blockage. Once inside it was revealed that it was a 99% blockage of the right anterial artery. It was repaired and with an overnight stay, she came home. A few followups, some new meds and she'll do fine. Thoughts and prayers to the family. |
|
|
|
 |
2 User(s) are reading this topic (2 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:
| Lo-Fi Version | Time is now: 5th May 2025 - 08:57 PM |