[Absolut Speed]

My wife, who is just 29 years old, was diagnosed with breast cancer today (Thurs). She found a lump last Friday, had an examine Monday, a mammogram Tuesday and a biopsy today. She is scheduled to have a lumpectomy and more tests Friday at 6:30am.

This whole week has been one of misery in waiting. We kept telling ourselves that her odds were too small considering her age, but alas, she was part of that fractional percentage that are diagnosed in their 20's. So guys, make sure your wives, gfs, daughters are all keeping up with their checkups. We believe it was caught very early on, but we'll find out more tomorrow after they check the lymph nodes.

Worse, the doctor has told her she can't have children for 5 years due to the treatment, and that has just absolutely crushed her. Her parents are in shock and disbelief and aren't handling this too well. I've certainly got a lot on my plate.

[00 Trans Ram]

I am so sorry to hear that!

My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 40. She had a lumpectomy, chemo and radiation for a year. Then, they found it in the other breast. She had a complete mastectomy, then chemo and radiation again. It was a very bad time for us.

But, she is now an 12 year survivor! And, I will share her sentiments with you. She says that, were she given the choice (knowing the outcome) of having it or not, she would choose to have it all over again. Why, you ask? It brought our family so close together. It truly showed us the meaning of, "Live for what is important" and "Carpe Diem".

I was in high school at the time. A time in my life when my biggest worries should have been what party to go to on Friday night, what girl liked me, and how our basketball team was doing. Instead, I was spending nights in the hospital, bringing my mother fresh washcloths in bed, and driving her to the hairdresser to get a new wig.

But, we are a very close family now. We all realize that no one knows what tomorrow may bring - so we do everything today. We tell each other we love each other every time we hang up the phone or leave each other. Once a year, we get together to celebrate her being cancer-free for another year - and we all cry and hug right there in the restaurant.

The only advice that I can give is to help your wife in any way possible. And, for her, allow you to help - helping is your way of coping with it. Save any arguements until after you get an "all clear" from the doctor. Love each other like there's no tomorrow - but know in your heart that there will be thousands of tomorrows yet to come.

It won't be easy, it won't be pretty, and it won't be short - you must come to terms with that. But, in the end, when you are both sitting on a beach watching your children play in the surf, you will look at each other in the eyes, remember the day you received this news, and you will hold her in your arms until the sun sets.