[mitchntx]

My wife, God bless her, brought home a free mouse from the pet store. Unfortunately, the $10,000 worth of habitrail, food $ shavings wasn't part of the deal. (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/dry.gif)

This was about a month ago and I had no idea. She had poor little Chester in her sewing room. I don't go in there because it just syphons the manhood right out of me ...

Last week, she breaks the news to me like this ... "Chester isn't in his cage."

"Who's Chester?"

I'll save you all the angst of the next 30 minutes of "discussion". Our conversation ended (for about 2 days) with me making a reference to her IQ and Chester's destiny involving the business end of bird shot.

Like most husbands, it was bullshit and had no intention of shooting poor little Chester. It would have been hell to fix the toe kick under the kitchen cabinets.

After Chester began leaving little momentos of his appreciation, the wife decided he had to go. Of course, now Chester is "that damn rodent" and no longer "cute little Chester". And guess who's problem Chester is now?

So, like any God fearing humanitarian, I decide I will live trap poor little Chester and set him free to roam the hills around Lake Granbury. Be free little Chester ... has anyone priced those damn live traps? Installing now base cabinets would be cheaper ...

Ah-Ha ... spring traps. Got him now ... what I can't figure is how I can break my damn fingers setting these things and Chester can feast off of peanut butter, soft cheese and bread (with the crust cut off) and NOT set off the trap? How is this possible?

Meanwhile, sweet little Chester is getting rather large, chowing down on this buffet we set out for him.

And Chester is a smart little shit.

I can be sitting in my chair, spot his ass jogging along the base cabinets, our eyes meet and I can get almost close enough to smell his little cheese and peanut butter breath and off he goes to a corner and disappears. I swear the hole Chester the mouse-cat goes through is as big as a Bic pen.

OK ... I walk upright ... I have thumbs ... I have the ability to reason ... I have yet a better mouse trap.

I place 3 traps under the hole, each with the trigger facing the cabinet. I have all the angles covered. I place 12 pack of colas along the base of the cabinets, in order to funnel Chester the Wonder Mouse to the awaiting traps.

and I wait ...

Finally, out he comes, into the middle of the floor, obviously waiting to be seated at "his" table. I again walk towards him, in an attempt to herd him into the tunnel of doom.

It works! He scampers behind the cardboard facade housing 24 Diet Cokes, straight for the death traps. I eagerly await the sweet sound of the trap's wrath swinging down and breaking this rodent's back. I know the excrutiating pain he will feel as the index finger on my right hand is still pulsing in pain.

That sound of triumph is nye ....

Silence .... WTF?

In desperation and disbelief, I pick up the cola box to see what happened. There they are, traps all lined up like little soldiers, rifles cocked and ready to fire ... but no Chester.

How can this be? It was the perfect plan.

About that time, the bottom of the cola box rips, cans fall to the floor with a couple of them now puking their contents all over the kitchen.

And chester falls out of the box as well, looking pissed because I just ruined his new condo. Yes he's pissed, but he ain't stupid, as I'm coming to realize.

He scampers away at quite a fast pace ... YES! ... towards the traps of death! He's going home! His fur is glistening from the sparkling soda bath and I just know I got him!

He glides over the traps and disappears into the tiny hole of the cabinet base.

My spirit dead, my honor destryed, my soul deflated, I reach down to check the traps and THWACK ...

Looking at the bright side, I no longer feel that pulsing pain in my right index finger. It has mysteriously moved to my left thumb.

Chester still lives ... wife laughing uncontrollabley ... I'm going to bed.

True story ....

Chester ==> (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/nutkick.gif) <=== Me

[mitchntx]

It was brought to my attention that I never finished the story and explained what became of the actual Chester da Mouse.

My youngest daughter had a friend who owned a Boa ....


(IMG:http://media.decider.com/assets/images/events/performer/41778/boy1_jpg_595x325_crop_upscale_q85.jpg)

"Well, I'd certainly say she had marvelous judgment, Albert, if not particularly good taste."
Blood - A Boy and His Dog, 1975

[rpoz-29]

Damn. I loved that mouse.

[MikeP-99Z]

So did the boa.

[mitchntx]

Circle of life ... glad I could do my part.

[Racing Geek]

Good story! I once ran over a mouse with the lawn mower. That was a lot of blood for such a small animal... All that was left was some tiny hairy red chunks.

[cccbock]

Good story! I once ran over a mouse with the lawn mower. That was a lot of blood for such a small animal... All that was left was some tiny hairy red chunks.

I don't recall the chester story, but I do know the boa would be welcome in my garage for a week or two.
b

[trackbird]

I was searching for another old thread here and found this one. Ahh....great times. I had to bump it back up just for those who missed all the fun.

Man are we getting old....

[00 Trans Ram]

RIP - Chester.

[Steve91T]

That was hilarious!

[GlennCMC70]

I guess I should come clean. I was the one who created the "Chester" user ID and posted all those comments. I had a blast posting it and almost pissed my pants doing it.
Good times.

[00 Trans Ram]

You bahstad! It wasn't the mouse?!! TAR AND FEATHER HIM!!!!!!

What the heck has been going on? Haven't been here much since selling my racecar. Did some time kart racing, until I figured out that I was at better-than-even odds of getting myself permanently maimed (5 races, 4 podiums, 2-3rd places, 1-2nd place, 1-1st place; 4 wrecks bad enough to end my race, one of which was bad enough to crack my kart chassis in 2 places and 1 set of broken ribs).

Now I've just got a 500hp G8 that I drive daily. About to start as an instructor at the New Orleans Motorsports Park on their road course, though.

[trackbird]

That was hilarious!

A lot of the newer members have missed out on all the old gags around here. We seem to be in an "old and mellow" phase these days. There's a lot of classic stuff in the archives around here...

You bahstad! It wasn't the mouse?!! TAR AND FEATHER HIM!!!!!!

What the heck has been going on? Haven't been here much since selling my racecar. Did some time kart racing, until I figured out that I was at better-than-even odds of getting myself permanently maimed (5 races, 4 podiums, 2-3rd places, 1-2nd place, 1-1st place; 4 wrecks bad enough to end my race, one of which was bad enough to crack my kart chassis in 2 places and 1 set of broken ribs).

Now I've just got a 500hp G8 that I drive daily. About to start as an instructor at the New Orleans Motorsports Park on their road course, though.

Just the usual (but possibly less of it). That G8 sounds like fun. What's been done to it?

[00 Trans Ram]

You bahstad! It wasn't the mouse?!! TAR AND FEATHER HIM!!!!!!

What the heck has been going on? Haven't been here much since selling my racecar. Did some time kart racing, until I figured out that I was at better-than-even odds of getting myself permanently maimed (5 races, 4 podiums, 2-3rd places, 1-2nd place, 1-1st place; 4 wrecks bad enough to end my race, one of which was bad enough to crack my kart chassis in 2 places and 1 set of broken ribs).

Now I've just got a 500hp G8 that I drive daily. About to start as an instructor at the New Orleans Motorsports Park on their road course, though.

Just the usual (but possibly less of it). That G8 sounds like fun. What's been done to it?

Well, it has 134k miles on it. 2008 model. Up until just recently, all I did was upgrade the brakes to 4-piston Brembos, put a CAI on it, wider tires (255/285, Potenza S04s, which are GREAT) and get a mediocre tune. Oh, and put a good sound system in it (replaced all stock stuff except radio, made custom sub box and amp mount, etc.).

But, just a few weeks ago, after I decided that I was going to keep the car (nothing I wanted, used or new, that costs less than $40k), I put in a new cam, valve springs, lifters, LT headers, exhaust, tune, etc. Still haven't gotten the vendor (Texas Speed and Performance) to get the tune quite right, so I may end up going to Geoff at EPS for a dyno tune (mail-order tune was $250, dyno tune is $580). But, once it's all finished, it should make just a hair over 500hp at the crank, or 410-415 at the wheels.

Funny story. When the car was brand new (still had temp plates and less than 100 miles), I took it to the track. Friend of mine has a E46M3 racecar (GTS3 class, no more than 11:1 power-to-weight ratio) and was getting some lap time in. I followed him around the track, trying to keep up. I was able to barely keep up with him, running my car at about 102%. Ended up going off track through Turn 1 at No Problem Raceway (Grand Bayou Raceway, now) at around 135mph trying to catch him. No damage to the car, so I simply re-entered the track after Turn 3 and kept racing. Frankly, I'm amazed at how well the car handles for being 4000+ lbs. I only stopped when I heard a grinding noise coming from the rear of the car. Turns out I'd heated up the rear fender liners so bad that they melted and were rubbing on the tires. And, when I stopped, the stock brake pads caught fire. Put them out in a few seconds with a fire extinguisher.

This car has been good to me.

[ReEntryRacer]

You bahstad! It wasn't the mouse?!! TAR AND FEATHER HIM!!!!!!

What the heck has been going on? Haven't been here much since selling my racecar. Did some time kart racing, until I figured out that I was at better-than-even odds of getting myself permanently maimed (5 races, 4 podiums, 2-3rd places, 1-2nd place, 1-1st place; 4 wrecks bad enough to end my race, one of which was bad enough to crack my kart chassis in 2 places and 1 set of broken ribs).

Now I've just got a 500hp G8 that I drive daily. About to start as an instructor at the New Orleans Motorsports Park on their road course, though.

Just the usual (but possibly less of it). That G8 sounds like fun. What's been done to it?

Well, it has 134k miles on it. 2008 model. Up until just recently, all I did was upgrade the brakes to 4-piston Brembos, put a CAI on it, wider tires (255/285, Potenza S04s, which are GREAT) and get a mediocre tune. Oh, and put a good sound system in it (replaced all stock stuff except radio, made custom sub box and amp mount, etc.).

But, just a few weeks ago, after I decided that I was going to keep the car (nothing I wanted, used or new, that costs less than $40k), I put in a new cam, valve springs, lifters, LT headers, exhaust, tune, etc. Still haven't gotten the vendor (Texas Speed and Performance) to get the tune quite right, so I may end up going to Geoff at EPS for a dyno tune (mail-order tune was $250, dyno tune is $580). But, once it's all finished, it should make just a hair over 500hp at the crank, or 410-415 at the wheels.

Funny story. When the car was brand new (still had temp plates and less than 100 miles), I took it to the track. Friend of mine has a E46M3 racecar (GTS3 class, no more than 11:1 power-to-weight ratio) and was getting some lap time in. I followed him around the track, trying to keep up. I was able to barely keep up with him, running my car at about 102%. Ended up going off track through Turn 1 at No Problem Raceway (Grand Bayou Raceway, now) at around 135mph trying to catch him. No damage to the car, so I simply re-entered the track after Turn 3 and kept racing. Frankly, I'm amazed at how well the car handles for being 4000+ lbs. I only stopped when I heard a grinding noise coming from the rear of the car. Turns out I'd heated up the rear fender liners so bad that they melted and were rubbing on the tires. And, when I stopped, the stock brake pads caught fire. Put them out in a few seconds with a fire extinguisher.

This car has been good to me.

Pretty good recommendation for the new Chevy SS... (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/cool2.gif)

[Steve91T]

You bahstad! It wasn't the mouse?!! TAR AND FEATHER HIM!!!!!!

What the heck has been going on? Haven't been here much since selling my racecar. Did some time kart racing, until I figured out that I was at better-than-even odds of getting myself permanently maimed (5 races, 4 podiums, 2-3rd places, 1-2nd place, 1-1st place; 4 wrecks bad enough to end my race, one of which was bad enough to crack my kart chassis in 2 places and 1 set of broken ribs).

Now I've just got a 500hp G8 that I drive daily. About to start as an instructor at the New Orleans Motorsports Park on their road course, though.

Just the usual (but possibly less of it). That G8 sounds like fun. What's been done to it?

Well, it has 134k miles on it. 2008 model. Up until just recently, all I did was upgrade the brakes to 4-piston Brembos, put a CAI on it, wider tires (255/285, Potenza S04s, which are GREAT) and get a mediocre tune. Oh, and put a good sound system in it (replaced all stock stuff except radio, made custom sub box and amp mount, etc.).

But, just a few weeks ago, after I decided that I was going to keep the car (nothing I wanted, used or new, that costs less than $40k), I put in a new cam, valve springs, lifters, LT headers, exhaust, tune, etc. Still haven't gotten the vendor (Texas Speed and Performance) to get the tune quite right, so I may end up going to Geoff at EPS for a dyno tune (mail-order tune was $250, dyno tune is $580). But, once it's all finished, it should make just a hair over 500hp at the crank, or 410-415 at the wheels.

Funny story. When the car was brand new (still had temp plates and less than 100 miles), I took it to the track. Friend of mine has a E46M3 racecar (GTS3 class, no more than 11:1 power-to-weight ratio) and was getting some lap time in. I followed him around the track, trying to keep up. I was able to barely keep up with him, running my car at about 102%. Ended up going off track through Turn 1 at No Problem Raceway (Grand Bayou Raceway, now) at around 135mph trying to catch him. No damage to the car, so I simply re-entered the track after Turn 3 and kept racing. Frankly, I'm amazed at how well the car handles for being 4000+ lbs. I only stopped when I heard a grinding noise coming from the rear of the car. Turns out I'd heated up the rear fender liners so bad that they melted and were rubbing on the tires. And, when I stopped, the stock brake pads caught fire. Put them out in a few seconds with a fire extinguisher.

This car has been good to me.

Pretty good recommendation for the new Chevy SS... (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/cool2.gif)

Auto only (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/sad.gif)

[00 Trans Ram]

The main problem with the Chevy SS is price. Yeah, it's going to have the 6.2L, I think. Which should mean 430hp. And, the interior is fairly nice. But, it's got a pricetag of $45k+. Compared to an as-new price of the G8 in 2009 of less than $30k. Or, get a slightly used G8GT (<40k miles) with mods to make similar power (bolt-ons and tune) for under $20k.

I'm not a huge fan of the auto, but it's not bad. Once you tune it, or even without a tune, the manual shift mode works very well. Stays in the gear you put it in, makes downshifts and upshifts quickly, revmatches, etc. Shift times aren't exactly like a Ferrari 458 (drove one a few months ago - holy Christ!), but they are adequate for anything up to and including a track day.

BTW, the car is 200% easier to work on than a 4th-gen F-body. I had everything out of the car (heads, transmission, headers, intake, cam, radiator, fuel rails, etc.) and only had the car on jackstands in the front. Only thing left in the car was the engine block, crank, connecting rods and pistons. Entire front suspension, cradle, steering, etc. all got to stay where they were.

[Steve91T]

I needed something fun to drive with 4 doors. The G8 sounded like a great car, but I can't stand autos. It just sucks the fun out of driving. My wife has a G37 and that is by far the best auto I've ever driven. 7 gears, match rev, stays where you out it. You'll be cruising down the road in 7th, hit the brakes and go into a turn. The think will drop to a lower gear and stay there until the turn is completed, even if you're off the gas. Pretty damn cool. But I still prefer a stick.

I went with an. E36 M3 4 door. Talk about cheap and fun to drive.

I don't understand why a T56 G8 swap is so difficult. I guess headache is all in the electronics. If it were possible, that would make the G8 much more attractive.

[00 Trans Ram]

I needed something fun to drive with 4 doors. The G8 sounded like a great car, but I can't stand autos. It just sucks the fun out of driving. My wife has a G37 and that is by far the best auto I've ever driven. 7 gears, match rev, stays where you out it. You'll be cruising down the road in 7th, hit the brakes and go into a turn. The think will drop to a lower gear and stay there until the turn is completed, even if you're off the gas. Pretty damn cool. But I still prefer a stick.

I went with an. E36 M3 4 door. Talk about cheap and fun to drive.

I don't understand why a T56 G8 swap is so difficult. I guess headache is all in the electronics. If it were possible, that would make the G8 much more attractive.

You can do a swap with the manual out of a GXP. Supposedly, after you sell all the auto parts, it's about a $1000 swap.




The consensus is that it's usually easier and cheaper to sell the GT and buy a manual GXP, though.

[Steve91T]

I needed something fun to drive with 4 doors. The G8 sounded like a great car, but I can't stand autos. It just sucks the fun out of driving. My wife has a G37 and that is by far the best auto I've ever driven. 7 gears, match rev, stays where you out it. You'll be cruising down the road in 7th, hit the brakes and go into a turn. The think will drop to a lower gear and stay there until the turn is completed, even if you're off the gas. Pretty damn cool. But I still prefer a stick.

I went with an. E36 M3 4 door. Talk about cheap and fun to drive.

I don't understand why a T56 G8 swap is so difficult. I guess headache is all in the electronics. If it were possible, that would make the G8 much more attractive.

You can do a swap with the manual out of a GXP. Supposedly, after you sell all the auto parts, it's about a $1000 swap.
.



The consensus is that it's usually easier and cheaper to sell the GT and buy a manual GXP, though.

Ehh, that's what everyone says about everything. But where's the fun in that? (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) GXP's are still pretty pricey. Plus yours is already built.

This post has been edited by Steve91T: Dec 5 2013, 09:47 PM

[00 Trans Ram]

Yeah, I do lots of stop-n-go commuting. An auto is nice in the morning when I'm on the phone with work and not really able to have fun.

But, the evenings are less trafficky. And, I'm rarely on the phone. So, I slap it into manual mode and have fun.

To give you an idea of the kind of fun I have, I'm averaging 11.2mpg over the past 2 years. Some of that is certainly from sitting at redlights going 0mph. But, a good deal is also keeping it above 2500rpm all the way home.