[Pilot]

Well, it's official. The F-bodies are now trying to kill Kevin. So I'm sitting at home enjoying the blizzard warning when I get a call from Kevin. He's been viciously attacked by a V6 Firebird. He was crusing down the interstate when he saw the firebird in the slow lane lose it in the snow and come plowing towards him. After he sped up (brakes? in this snow? HAH!) to avoid her, he lost sight of her and then felt the clunk which threw the truck (a friggin 1 ton now traveling at close to 60 mph) sideways about 30 degrees.

So now he calls me, the nose of the Firebird is in his truck and he's following a rather nice looking 27ish, blonde dental hygienist to my apartment complex. Apparently she's my neighbor. I trudge out into the 4" of snow to join in the merriment. He hasn't seen the damage on his truck so I brought a flashlight. We pull the front of her car out of the truck while she's drying her eyes and plop it in front of her car. I distinctly remember hearing her say, "I hate this damn car. I was just about to trade it!" About this time we grab the light and go to inspect Kevin's truck. He could have sworn from the severity of the impact that she not only caved in the passenger side of his truck, but that she also pushed the truck into the jersey wall on the driver's side. Not going to be a fun day.

Well, as it turns out, Kevin needs a new rear passenger side tire. Maybe a wheel. It's at least scratched, possibly bent. The rest of the battle tank survived miraculously (damn. I love Chevy.) without a scratch. Apparently the driver's side impact was the tire becoming close friends with the recently plowed, compacted, frozen snowbank on the side of the road (Kevin's Ice Removal Service... Ice and Noses done while you wait!). Now, Kevin has his own, traveling version of the snowbank firmly packed in his wheel. That's going to be fun to get out.

Tally:

• 1 - 31" Bridgestone Duravis truck tire... $162.50
• 1 - 16 x 7" GM work truck, 8 lug steelie... $cheap
• 1 - new thong for blonde firebird driver... $fun
• 1 - '99 Firebird V6 nose for a wall ornament... $priceless

Update: New Title - "How to Find a New Dentist and Have a Smashing Good Time!" or

"Trackbird's High Impact Dating Service!"

[trackbird]

I called Team Chevrolet to get prices on the parts and found that the final talley is:

$276.85 Rear bumper (it's bent on the corner, it did make contact)
$60.27 for the left one and $62.28 for the right one - Rear bumper step pad (the plastic part on top)
$201.71 Wheel
$72.30 Center cap
$162.50 Tire (tirerack + freight and mounting and balancing)
Rubber "fender flare" above the rear tire
Alignment is being checked.

Not too bad. The bumper hit the snow hard enough to bend the end of it, but it has no scratches on it. So, I did hit the wall, but it was snow covered and I didn't see scratches so I assumed I missed it.

For grins, I priced a rear axle assembly (in case it was bent, which doesn't seem likely). I was quoted an MSRP of $4100 for a 4.10 gear 11.5" rear with a G80 locker and "my" price of $3352.88 + truck freight. Oof.

[trackbird]

I called Team Chevrolet to get prices on the parts and found that the final talley is:

$276.85 Rear bumper (it's bent on the corner, it did make contact)
$60.27 for the left one and $62.28 for the right one - Rear bumper step pad (the plastic part on top)
$201.71 Wheel
$72.30 Center cap
$162.50 Tire (tirerack + freight and mounting and balancing)
Rubber "fender flare" above the rear tire
Alignment is being checked.

Oddly, I just priced some of this again.

$283.77 Painted rear bumper
$210.01 Chrome rear bumper (guess which one I'm buying?)
$72.81 for the left one and $66.07 for the right one - Rear bumper step pad (the plastic part on top)
$35.25 for the center step pad (where the license plate is located)

$384.14 total (and free freight)

The estimate was $545 (I think) and they are mailing me a check. I guess I'm just going to order a bumper and all the trim and replace the whole thing. That way I can assemble it all and not worry about breaking anything while taking it off. Guess I'll scrap (craigs list?) the old bumper and see if I can ebay off anything that's still useable (plastic trim). And, I can pay myself for labor.