[mitchntx]

Last July, I lost my brother and 4 months later my step father passed away.

My mom, had to be moved into a nursing facility 6 months ago because of her alzheimer's disease.

She still recognizes me, but it's a battle each time I visit her. She thinks she is living in a pick up truck, in a grocery store parking lot and begs me to take her home.

It broke my heart to commit her to a nursing facility even though I know she is getting a lot better care than I could ever give her.

It's worse seeing her deteriorate at an alarming pace. Each visit, her mental condition is significantly worse

Talking with her psychiatrist tells me to visit as often as I want, but that she will become more and more agitated and upset when I do. According to her local case worker, she does just fine in her daily routine. But when me or my wife visits, she is a handful for a while, many times requiring sedation.

I'm torn between my obligation to care for her and see after her and letting her go. She's not the same person. It's the same soul, but not the same person.

Thanks for letting me rant ...

[trackbird]

My grandfather battled with Alzheimer's for about 5 years. I'm not sure they considered it to be Alzheimer's for all of that time. I watched him get progressively worse over the years and watched my poor grandmother "killing herself" to take care of him.

I remember seeing him at my sisters wedding, we had pictures taken together. Later that night I was told that he was asking where I was and why I didn't show up that day for the wedding (apparently slightly agitated)...... That was about 4 years before he passed away. It got worse from there.

Sorry to hear of your mothers condition Mitch. It's a tough call to decide when it's time to "quit", not that you want to, but for her own good. I can't tell you when that will be, but I'd suggest going in and talking with the staff or her doctor about it. Let them know that you wish to keep coming to visit, but you realize the problems it causes and see what they say. Of course you'll have to make that decision based on when you think you can finally handle not going to visit.

It's a tough situation that will really test your character. Good luck my friend.