 OK ... this damn mouse is pissing me off |
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 Nov 3 2006, 04:55 PM
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#1
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Nothing says 'I love you.' like a box of Hydroshoks  Group: Moderators Posts: 5,284 Joined: 23-December 03 From: Granbury, TX Member No.: 4  |
My wife, God bless her, brought home a free mouse from the pet store. Unfortunately, the $10,000 worth of habitrail, food $ shavings wasn't part of the deal. (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/dry.gif)
This was about a month ago and I had no idea. She had poor little Chester in her sewing room. I don't go in there because it just syphons the manhood right out of me ... Last week, she breaks the news to me like this ... "Chester isn't in his cage." "Who's Chester?" I'll save you all the angst of the next 30 minutes of "discussion". Our conversation ended (for about 2 days) with me making a reference to her IQ and Chester's destiny involving the business end of bird shot. Like most husbands, it was bullshit and had no intention of shooting poor little Chester. It would have been hell to fix the toe kick under the kitchen cabinets. After Chester began leaving little momentos of his appreciation, the wife decided he had to go. Of course, now Chester is "that damn rodent" and no longer "cute little Chester". And guess who's problem Chester is now? So, like any God fearing humanitarian, I decide I will live trap poor little Chester and set him free to roam the hills around Lake Granbury. Be free little Chester ... has anyone priced those damn live traps? Installing now base cabinets would be cheaper ... Ah-Ha ... spring traps. Got him now ... what I can't figure is how I can break my damn fingers setting these things and Chester can feast off of peanut butter, soft cheese and bread (with the crust cut off) and NOT set off the trap? How is this possible? Meanwhile, sweet little Chester is getting rather large, chowing down on this buffet we set out for him. And Chester is a smart little shit. I can be sitting in my chair, spot his ass jogging along the base cabinets, our eyes meet and I can get almost close enough to smell his little cheese and peanut butter breath and off he goes to a corner and disappears. I swear the hole Chester the mouse-cat goes through is as big as a Bic pen. OK ... I walk upright ... I have thumbs ... I have the ability to reason ... I have yet a better mouse trap. I place 3 traps under the hole, each with the trigger facing the cabinet. I have all the angles covered. I place 12 pack of colas along the base of the cabinets, in order to funnel Chester the Wonder Mouse to the awaiting traps. and I wait ... Finally, out he comes, into the middle of the floor, obviously waiting to be seated at "his" table. I again walk towards him, in an attempt to herd him into the tunnel of doom. It works! He scampers behind the cardboard facade housing 24 Diet Cokes, straight for the death traps. I eagerly await the sweet sound of the trap's wrath swinging down and breaking this rodent's back. I know the excrutiating pain he will feel as the index finger on my right hand is still pulsing in pain. That sound of triumph is nye .... Silence .... WTF? In desperation and disbelief, I pick up the cola box to see what happened. There they are, traps all lined up like little soldiers, rifles cocked and ready to fire ... but no Chester. How can this be? It was the perfect plan. About that time, the bottom of the cola box rips, cans fall to the floor with a couple of them now puking their contents all over the kitchen. And chester falls out of the box as well, looking pissed because I just ruined his new condo. Yes he's pissed, but he ain't stupid, as I'm coming to realize. He scampers away at quite a fast pace ... YES! ... towards the traps of death! He's going home! His fur is glistening from the sparkling soda bath and I just know I got him! He glides over the traps and disappears into the tiny hole of the cabinet base. My spirit dead, my honor destryed, my soul deflated, I reach down to check the traps and THWACK ... Looking at the bright side, I no longer feel that pulsing pain in my right index finger. It has mysteriously moved to my left thumb. Chester still lives ... wife laughing uncontrollabley ... I'm going to bed. True story .... Chester ==> (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/nutkick.gif) <=== Me |
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Nov 4 2006, 02:42 AM
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#41
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Nothing says 'I love you.' like a box of Hydroshoks Group: Moderators Posts: 5,284 Joined: 23-December 03 From: Granbury, TX Member No.: 4 |
Chester watch update ...
Still no sign of him. Being patient and optimistic. |
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Nov 4 2006, 05:16 AM
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#42
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El Cucci Group: Advanced Members Posts: 291 Joined: 26-December 03 From: Queen Creek, AZ Member No.: 46 |
(IMG:http://www.azfba.com/messageboard/images/smiles/rat.gif) (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/bigun2.gif)
This post has been edited by tom97ss: Nov 4 2006, 05:20 AM |
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Nov 4 2006, 01:42 PM
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#43
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Nothing says 'I love you.' like a box of Hydroshoks Group: Moderators Posts: 5,284 Joined: 23-December 03 From: Granbury, TX Member No.: 4 |
Update:
1 sticky trap was laying on top of the other. However, there was a little fur on the trap which was on top. While I would have liked to have gotten him in one piece, I can live with getting Chester small pieces at a time. |
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Nov 4 2006, 02:06 PM
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#44
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FRRAX Owner/Admin Group: Admin Posts: 15,432 Joined: 13-February 04 From: Ohio Member No.: 196 |
QUOTE (mitchntx @ Nov 4 2006, 08:42 AM)  While I would have liked to have gotten him in one piece, I can live with getting Chester small pieces at a time. Reminds me of an old Johnny Cash song. I got it one piece at a time...... (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/drink.gif) |
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Nov 4 2006, 02:16 PM
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#45
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Scaring slow F body drivers with a VW diesel Group: Member Posts: 449 Joined: 23-June 04 From: Mt Gilead, Ohio Member No.: 376 |
QUOTE (mitchntx @ Nov 4 2006, 08:42 AM) Update: 1 sticky trap was laying on top of the other. However, there was a little fur on the trap which was on top. While I would have liked to have gotten him in one piece, I can live with getting Chester small pieces at a time. Get the larger rat sticky pads. He has to walk across more area to get to the bait. Wonder how Chester is feeling this morning? |
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Nov 4 2006, 02:37 PM
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#46
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FRRAX Owner/Admin Group: Admin Posts: 15,432 Joined: 13-February 04 From: Ohio Member No.: 196 |
QUOTE (Mericet @ Nov 4 2006, 09:16 AM) Wonder how Chester is feeling this morning? I was going to say "slightly colder in spots" (where the hair is missing), but I then realized that the little rodent is in Texas....where it's not 20 degrees in the mornings..... (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/nutkick.gif) |
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Nov 4 2006, 04:15 PM
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#47
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Nothing says 'I love you.' like a box of Hydroshoks Group: Moderators Posts: 5,284 Joined: 23-December 03 From: Granbury, TX Member No.: 4 |
I had to drag out my big coat this week. It was in the upper 30s one morning.
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Nov 4 2006, 04:56 PM
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#48
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Veteran Member Group: Advanced Members Posts: 2,511 Joined: 14-November 04 From: Homer Glen, IL Member No.: 540 |
QUOTE (mitchntx @ Nov 4 2006, 10:15 AM) I had to drag out my big coat this week. It was in the upper 30s one morning. *grumble* Time to move to Texas, we had a high of 39 yesterday, but was colder with the wind chill. I had 5 layers (t-shirt, long sleeve t-shirt, flannel, hoodie, FR shirt) on yesterday and was comfortable heat wise, although I was tied off at the top of a 60' shaft so I wasn't completely comfortable. (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/rotf.gif) Get that mouse! |
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Nov 5 2006, 01:43 PM
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#49
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Scaring slow F body drivers with a VW diesel Group: Member Posts: 449 Joined: 23-June 04 From: Mt Gilead, Ohio Member No.: 376 |
Hey Chester! I took care of a couple of your country cousins up here in Ohio last night. (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/nutkick.gif)
Two of them on one sticky trap! (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/whip.gif) |
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Nov 5 2006, 01:47 PM
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#50
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Advanced Member Group: Advanced Members Posts: 854 Joined: 26-December 03 From: NYC, NY Member No.: 50 |
hey mitch, aren't you pretty good with a .22, didn't you have a nice one?
If kevin hasn't gotten rid of all of his again maybe he could ship one to you.......I'm sure that overkill scope would let you focus in on his beady little eye, wouldn't even make a big hole in the base board. Then again there always in the mace route, that's a really good idea. |
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Nov 5 2006, 02:26 PM
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#51
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Nothing says 'I love you.' like a box of Hydroshoks Group: Moderators Posts: 5,284 Joined: 23-December 03 From: Granbury, TX Member No.: 4 |
A moment of silence while we pay respects to Chester da Mouse ... NOT!
Update: After all the traps we had laid, the corridors of doom built and the sleepless nights anticipating a "THWACK" ... we got him! But not by any of those methods ... (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/huh.gif) The wife noticed him scurrying along the wall and pinned him behind an ornamental tray. She came and got me and we began trying to figure out how to snare him. All of a sudden his tail peeked out from under the tray and THWACK! I snagged it. me ===> (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/nutkick.gif) <=== Chester (IMG:http://webpages.charter.net/mitchntx/Chester1.jpg) We now have him in a DeMonte glass jar trying to figure what to do next. I'm savoring the moment. Maybe I should contact DelMonte and say we have a mouse in one of their jars ... race car needs new tires. I'm certainly glad this little chapter of life in Granbury has ended. You folks in the big city don't have a clue what exciting night life really is. (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/drink.gif) Kevin ... what is your mailing address. I have a present for Midnight! |
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Nov 5 2006, 02:30 PM
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#52
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Advanced Member Group: Advanced Members Posts: 854 Joined: 26-December 03 From: NYC, NY Member No.: 50 |
Congrats!!!!
This post has been edited by v7guy: Nov 5 2006, 02:30 PM |
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Nov 5 2006, 06:56 PM
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#53
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El Cucci Group: Advanced Members Posts: 291 Joined: 26-December 03 From: Queen Creek, AZ Member No.: 46 |
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Nov 5 2006, 07:19 PM
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#54
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FRRAX Owner/Admin Group: Admin Posts: 15,432 Joined: 13-February 04 From: Ohio Member No.: 196 |
QUOTE (tom97ss @ Nov 5 2006, 01:56 PM) A "mouse-a-lope"? That's funny..... I guess Midnight can catch a return ride now and save the rest of the trip. See Mitch, we'll make a cat out of you yet..... (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/ph34r.gif) |
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Nov 5 2006, 07:51 PM
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#55
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Veteran Member Group: Advanced Members Posts: 2,640 Joined: 25-December 03 From: Louisville, KY Member No.: 40 |
Perhaps Midnight will have a newfound respect for Mitch now?
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Nov 5 2006, 08:29 PM
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#56
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FRRAX Owner/Admin Group: Admin Posts: 15,432 Joined: 13-February 04 From: Ohio Member No.: 196 |
QUOTE (robz71lm7 @ Nov 5 2006, 02:51 PM) Perhaps Midnight will have a newfound respect for Mitch now? He seems to think that Mitch tastes like chicken...... (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/huh.gif) Midnight says: Those Texas boys ain't so tough after all....... (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/rotf.gif) |
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Nov 12 2006, 12:17 AM
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#57
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North of the border Group: Admin Posts: 2,307 Joined: 4-February 04 From: Montreal, CANADA Member No.: 177 |
had a great laugh reading this story !
You could've fed him to the rattle snakes ... aren't there plenty in TX ? |
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Nov 12 2006, 02:19 AM
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#58
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Nothing says 'I love you.' like a box of Hydroshoks Group: Moderators Posts: 5,284 Joined: 23-December 03 From: Granbury, TX Member No.: 4 |
Sure ... next to the cattle and armadillos ...
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Oct 10 2009, 02:48 AM
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#59
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Veteran Member Group: Member Posts: 2,688 Joined: 23-December 03 From: Ft Worth, TX Member No.: 8 |
anyone ever figure out who was posting as "Chester"?
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Oct 10 2009, 04:40 AM
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#60
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FRRAX Owner/Admin Group: Admin Posts: 15,432 Joined: 13-February 04 From: Ohio Member No.: 196 |
QUOTE (GlennCMC70 @ Oct 9 2009, 10:48 PM) anyone ever figure out who was posting as "Chester"? That one is too easy, but I have admin tools... Chester actually posted from 4 IP addresses. 1 of them twice (Oct 18th), 2 of them once (Oct 16th and another on Oct 9th) and 1 of them six times on Nov 3rd. Only one of those IP's isn't specific to Chester, it was also used by another member. That member has used 906 IP addresses to post here. One of those 906 IP addresses matches one that Chester used and that member used it two times to post on Oct 8th. Of course I could have just e-mailed him at his e-mail address. Nope, couldn't tell ya who it might have been... (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/ph34r.gif) |
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