 Helmet for sale on Ebay., (Funny....possibly offensive) |
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 Oct 13 2004, 02:29 AM
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#1
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FRRAX Owner/Admin  Group: Admin Posts: 15,432 Joined: 13-February 04 From: Ohio Member No.: 196  |
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Oct 13 2004, 04:12 AM
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#2
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Scaring slow F body drivers with a VW diesel Group: Member Posts: 449 Joined: 23-June 04 From: Mt Gilead, Ohio Member No.: 376 |
(IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/whip.gif) (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/rotf.gif) (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/beerchug.gif)
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Oct 13 2004, 06:45 AM
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#3
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Experienced Member Group: Advanced Members Posts: 1,692 Joined: 15-February 04 From: Casselberry FL Member No.: 206 |
Oh my! Does that ever bring back memories. Substitute the bike for my car and it about nails it (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/blink.gif)
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Oct 13 2004, 07:37 AM
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#4
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Advanced Member Group: Advanced Members Posts: 715 Joined: 29-May 04 From: Cincinnati, Ohio Member No.: 352 |
that was great
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Oct 13 2004, 11:48 AM
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#5
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Experienced Member Group: Advanced Members Posts: 1,427 Joined: 12-February 04 From: Huntingtown, MD Member No.: 193 |
Oh my is right!
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Oct 13 2004, 04:25 PM
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#6
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Advanced Member Group: Advanced Members Posts: 439 Joined: 14-January 04 From: Texas Member No.: 128 |
That is freakin' great! (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/thumbup.gif)
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Oct 13 2004, 07:48 PM
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#7
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FRRAX Owner/Admin Group: Admin Posts: 15,432 Joined: 13-February 04 From: Ohio Member No.: 196 |
I guess I should have quoted it. Ebay has killed it, or so it seems.
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Oct 13 2004, 07:59 PM
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#8
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Advanced Member Group: Advanced Members Posts: 647 Joined: 30-December 03 From: Paris, Texas Member No.: 74 |
I saw it on another site and it was pretty dang funny. (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)
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Oct 14 2004, 12:27 AM
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#9
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FRRAX Owner/Admin Group: Admin Posts: 15,432 Joined: 13-February 04 From: Ohio Member No.: 196 |
QUOTE This Helmet is like brand new. I bought it for my wife, but it's to small for her big fat head.You know, it was all a big lie right from the beginning. I asked her if she liked bikes, (i've been riding since i was 9 years old.) She's like "Yeah, I love Motorcycles, they're great!" Now, i'm thinking to myself, this chicks cool, she's hot, has big boobs, and loves motorcycles. I gotta snag this one up quick.Little did i know that as soon as i gave her the engagement ring, all that would change. First, it was a subtle hint, you know, that the wedding's going to be expensive, and that that band costs just as much as my motorcycle. With all these wedding plans going on, i hardly have time to ride my bike. I'm schleping all over the state looking at reception halls, listening to cheesy wedding bands, and picking out floral arrangements. She brings up the fact that i havn't ridden my bike in a while now, (No kidding!! She won't let me out of her sight for more than 5 minutes!) and that maybe i should sell it. Now, that brings a whole lot of tension into the situation. I'm like no way! Then i notice that our sex life has reduced dramatically. A man has gotta do, what he's gotta do, so, i sell the bike, thinking that things will get better. She promises me, that as soon as we get married, she'll get a good job, and then i can get another bike. We get married, and we're having sex everyday. Life is good. The Evil One is looking for work for like, 6 months. I find it hard to believe that she can't find a damn job, but who am i to say? She's just holding out for that Management position she says. To be quite honest, i really don't care, she's cleaning my pipes better than Roto Rooter. Then the kicker...She tells me she's pregnant. All the while i thought she was on the pill! I ask her how this happened, and she said the pill gave her facial hair. (I really couldn't see a difference, after all she is Italian). Fast Foward 9 months...i'm out breaking my back doing manual labor, she's a big, fat, hairy lipped beach ball, with the disposition of a rabid Pit Bull. Nothing i say, or do is good enough for her. The day she gave birth, i thought again, that things will change for the better. WRONG!! Now everythings about the baby. Me, i'm second fiddle. Sex life? Ha! The only time i get some action is when i see her breast feeding the little bastard! I'm going crazy, at least if i had a motorcycle, i could take out some of my frustration. Even the guys at work notice how miserable i've been. One day, my partner rolls up on a brand new bike. I wanted to commit suicide. He knows how bad i wanted another bike. He see's the look in my eye, and asks me if i would like to take it out for a spin Friday night. It was truly the first time i lit up since marrying that bitch. Friday rolls around, i cash my check, and head on over to my partners house. I cruise around for a while, and end up at this little bar on the edge of town. I head up to the bar, place my helmet on it, and order a beer. I look over and see this little hottie chatting it up with her friends. I notice that the eye contact is getting more and more frequent. After a few more minutes, she walks over to me and tells me she just loves motorcycles. That they get her "excited". I ask her if she wants to go for a ride. Her beautifully full lips widen with a pearly white smile. I take that as a yes. I grab her by the hand, and lead her to the bike. She straps on the spare helmet that was on the bike, and away we go. We ride for hours. She taps me on the shoulder, and tells me her apartment is on the next block. Would i want to stop in for a while and have another beer. Who am i to say no? I watch her lead the way, and i can't keep my eyes off of her tight lil' behind. I think back to the days when old hippo ass looked like this. Well, once upstairs, one beer turned into two, and so on. The next thing i know, i'm in bed with her, and she was amazing! It was the best expierence i have ever had. Right then i had an epiphany. I had to be happy. I wasn't going to live a miserable existance for the rest of my life and something had to be done. Long story short, i left my hairy beast of a wife. (She's done good since i left. She remarried an Appliance salesman named Harold.) While i was moving out, i came across the helmet. I don't ever want to be reminded of my miserable past life, so please, make a bid. I have a motorcycle payment to make! The helmet has no scratches, size MED and i would rate it a 9 out of 10 Winning bidder to Pay with PAYPAL ONLY. Winning Bidder to pay all Shipping costs. I ship UPS ONLY. No Zero or Negative Feedback Bidders. QUOTE Ok guys, First off, i gotta thank everyone for the great Emails. (Especially the Hotties sending me Topless pics. BTW, i never get tired of that!) I gotta get some things out here. ****** This is a no joke auction, so please, don't bid unless your gonna buy the helmet. I really need the money, and i don't think its fair to the people who really want to bid on this. Thnaks!***** Ok, some concerns have been brought up to me in a few of my emails. FIRST! Let me state that this helmet is not CURSED! I have brought in a Poltergeist to "cleanse" the Helmet. I assure you that their will be no left over "Bitch" residue in the helmet when the winning bidder recieves it.I also had the helmet INFRARED SCANNED for cooties, and it passed with flying colors. You have my word as a human being. I would never subject anyone to the hell i went through. SECOND! Many of you have asked for pics of the Ex. Come on now People! Do you REALLY expect me to have any pics of her. I damn near wanted to drink a gallon of Bleach just to clean my mouth out cause i remeber having to kiss her goodnight! If you need a visual, Halloween is coming soon. When the little grubby bastards come trick or treating with there scary masks, times it by 100, and you still won't be close to the UG-LEE-NESS of that Wildebeast. Again, it's been friggin' fun. Mikey Buell
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Oct 14 2004, 01:48 AM
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#10
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Chapter 11 Racing Group: Advanced Members Posts: 1,166 Joined: 15-February 04 From: Houston, Republic of Texas Member No.: 207 |
TGIS (Thank God I'm Single) (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/beerchug.gif)
Too bad it's soo true. Women are pure evil. (Gee, I wonder why I'm still single) I've actually had a woman at work tell me: "Don't get married, don't have kids".... |
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Oct 14 2004, 01:57 AM
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#11
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FRRAX Owner/Admin Group: Admin Posts: 15,432 Joined: 13-February 04 From: Ohio Member No.: 196 |
I'm only at 50%.....and staying there. (no kids).
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Oct 14 2004, 05:02 AM
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#12
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Member Group: Advanced Members Posts: 185 Joined: 12-July 04 From: Haltom City, TX Member No.: 396 |
Hilarious! If I were 22 again, I'd not get married for sure. Life is difficult enough as it is without having someone around to make it worse. After a particularly bad three days with wifey at my house I complained to the female director of our dog club. She asked me if I would miss the companionship. Uh, NO, that's what my dogs are for! Life is good as long as there are hot rods, a shop to work in, cold beer, and my Dobermans. See Doberman family on the FRRAX gallery site. Notice there is no picture of wife.
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Oct 14 2004, 04:56 PM
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#13
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Member Group: Advanced Members Posts: 143 Joined: 4-January 04 From: Sarnia Member No.: 97 |
Been married 25 years. My wife is flat out the best friend I've ever had, or ever will have. She's also flat out the best piece of tail I've ever had or ever will have. Heck there is almost nothing she won't try in bed with me. We have two kids that both of us adore. Hell, she was the architect behind the original plan to get me the Camaro.
Find a woman that you know in your guts would kill for you, or walk through 500 miles of snake and rat infested landscape to get to you. Marry her and treat her like a goddess, and you will be unimaginably happy. (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/2thumbs.gif) |
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Oct 14 2004, 05:14 PM
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#14
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FRRAX Owner/Admin Group: Admin Posts: 15,432 Joined: 13-February 04 From: Ohio Member No.: 196 |
Note to self. Do not mess with Jon V's wife.....
(IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/beerchug.gif) |
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Oct 14 2004, 05:46 PM
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#15
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Mustang Member Group: Advanced Members Posts: 19 Joined: 5-October 04 From: New York City Member No.: 482 |
When I saw that my first wife was heading in the direction that the helmet guy's wife went, I too got out of a bad situation. Cost of a divorce is far cheaper than bail money and a new identity.
Current and final wife much like JonV's wife except for the snakes part. Agreed to move to NYC site unseen. Jon's wisdom speaks volumes! Trackbird, you know not to mess with mine. She's wrote you the note on that one herself. (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/thumbup.gif) (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/whip.gif) Oh well back to work. (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/whip.gif) |
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Oct 14 2004, 06:04 PM
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#16
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FRRAX Owner/Admin Group: Admin Posts: 15,432 Joined: 13-February 04 From: Ohio Member No.: 196 |
QUOTE (92Voodoo @ Oct 14 2004, 12:46 PM) When I saw that my first wife was heading in the direction that the helmet guy's wife went, I too got out of a bad situation. Cost of a divorce is far cheaper than bail money and a new identity. Current and final wife much like JonV's wife except for the snakes part. Agreed to move to NYC site unseen. Jon's wisdom speaks volumes! Trackbird, you know not to mess with mine. She's wrote you the note on that one herself. (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/thumbup.gif) (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/whip.gif) Oh well back to work. (IMG:http://www.frrax.com/rrforum/style_emoticons/default/whip.gif) His wife is evil..... (tell Lisa hello!). My wife is Italian.....(which also means "evil"). Do not get either one of them upset (mine or 92Voodoo's). |
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